I have a beautiful baby girl. After two energetic boys, that I LOVE with my heart and soul, I found myself longing for a little girl. One that I could dress in pretty clothes and do her hair with pretty bows.
When my husband and I talked about getting pregnant for the third time, I knew it was time, and I knew in my heart that I was going to get that baby girl.
Needless to say, I was right (I love it when that happens). I do dress her in pretty clothes, and I do put her hair in pretty bows, and most of the time, she despises them both! Her brothers adore her, and she returns the feelings wholeheartedly. She loves them so completely and unconditionally, and she wants to be just like them. Her first words were "cool car" and "touchdown!" I love it! I love them all.
I love them so deeply and completely that I just can not imagine my life without them in it. The thought scares me.
I came across this blog the other day. The blog is written by a courageous mother and father who have a baby boy and an angel daughter. Their daughter Lucy returned Home when she was nearly two years old. . . .The same age as my beautiful girl. Lucy had bouncy curls and a life full of personality. . . just like my beautiful girl. Lucy choked on an apple the size of a pea. I know. . . unbelievable. Her mother and father did everything they could and more, and ultimately had to watch their princess die. You can read the whole story here. They are courageous. They are survivors.
Sometimes I complain. When my princess spilled an entire box of cereal on the floor, I moaned and groaned, and I complained. When my princess wants me to hold her all day so that I can get NOTHING done, sometimes I complain. But now I think about them. I think about Lucy. I KNOW they wouldn't complain if their princess wanted them to hold her all day. I have that opportunity. They don't. And I complain.
I love all three of my children entirely, I love them all equally. Lucy reminds me of my princess. That is why my mind wandered to the what-ifs. What if that was our story. What if . It broke my heart.
Today, I am giving thanks. Thanks for a loving God who has afforded me the opportunity to be a mother to three wonderful children. Thanks for every breathe they breath and every beat their hearts beat. I'm thankful that I can hold them all day. . .and get nothing done. With all my heart, I'm thankful.